A martial arts school had an old and wise teacher. He also had three highly respected assistants. One day, he said to them, "I'm very busy. Can each of you take over the lessons for one week? Your task will be to teach the students respect. After three weeks, we’ll ask the students what they’ve learned.
”The first assistant was strong, impressive, and commanding some even said he was “two meters wide in every direction.” He roared through the lessons and trained hard alongside the students. Everyone respected him greatly and did exactly what he asked. It was a week of sweat, hard work, and discipline.
The second assistant had deep knowledge of all aspects of martial arts. He explained everything about respectful greetings, the meaning behind traditions, and the importance of etiquette and rules. It was an educational week, full of insight and wisdom.
The third assistant was a favorite among the students. He was kind, sincere, and always encouraging. Everyone gave their best effort and showed him great respect not out of fear or tradition, but because they didn’t want to disappoint him. It was a warm and inspiring week. After three weeks, the old teacher returned. He gathered all the students and the three assistants for a meeting.He asked the students,
“Which of the three assistants earned your respect the most?” The students found it hard to choose. They had gained respect for each of them but in very different ways.“Good,” said the teacher. “Then let’s hear how each assistant tried to teach you respect.
”The first assistant said, “My father is in the military. He always told me, ‘Respect must be earned through strength and discipline. Set the example, and others will follow.’
”The second assistant said, “My mother is a schoolteacher. She taught me, ‘Respect can be learned. When you follow the rules and understand their meaning, you become a model for others.’
”The third assistant said, “My parents are diamond cutters. They taught me, ‘Every person carries an unpolished diamond inside. If you gently shape and polish it, it will begin to shine. ’This week, I tried to show my own diamond. And what I got in return was so much warmth, dedication, and respect it was as if everyone began to shine.”
The teacher nodded and said,
“Then we have seen the three forms of respect:
Each form is valuable, even though they are different. All three share something important:
Respect must be given to be received.
And: Respect can be lost if you misuse the respect you've been given. Luckily, none of that happened here. But if one of the assistants had taken advantage of your respect, it would have disappeared like smoke.
Food for thought
The three forms of respect Earned Respect, Learned Respect, and Servant Respect appear everywhere in society: in leaders, athletes, teachers, influencers, even vloggers. But respect is fragile. It takes time to earn, but only a moment to lose. One wrong step, a careless word, or a broken promise and the respect you’ve built can vanish like smoke, even for a martial arts master. Each type of respect carries a hidden danger:
On the other hand, respect can also be earned in a single sincere moment through honesty, courage, humility, or helping someone in need. But only those who handle respect with care and integrity will keep it and let it grow. Respect is not something you own.
It is something you earn every day, again and again.