The Tale of the Young King – A Story About Respect

Once upon a time, there was a young king. He had just inherited the throne after the death of his father. His father had been greatly loved and respected by the people. But the young king was not respected at all. The people thought he was stubborn and arrogant. The young king asked his general, “How can I gain more respect?” The general replied, “Respect must be enforced! Make strict laws and rules, and punish anyone who disobeys with fines or penalties.” From that moment on, people ran when they saw the young king and obeyed his every command. If they didn’t, they faced harsh punishments from the judge. But the young king could feel the difference between the forced respect he received and the genuine respect his father once had. Though the people bowed before him, he saw that they were not happy.
Then the young king turned to his prime minister and asked, “How can I gain more respect?” The minister said, “Respect can be taught! We’ll teach the people what respect means. They will then learn to respect you as their king. They will be grateful that their children are being raised to be so polite and respectful.”
Over time, the king noticed that he was indeed being treated with more respect through this new approach. Yet still, it didn’t feel the same as the deep, warm respect the people had shown his father. He also saw how the minister kept increasing pressure on people to perform better, which didn’t make them any happier. Again, the respect began to fade.

Then the young king remembered the wise advisor and close friend of his father. He decided to seek him out. The old advisor had retreated to the forest after the old king died. When the young king arrived at his cabin, he said, “I am the new king, son of the man you once served. Will you advise me? My father always spoke highly of you.”
The old man slowly stood up and made a deep bow to the young king. “The respect I had for your father was great,” he said. “It would be my honor to serve you. Ask your question.”
The young king was moved by the old man’s humility. The deep bow, the kind voice, it made the king feel small and inexperienced. He asked, “Why does my people’s respect feel so different from the respect my father had? What was his secret? His trick?”
The old man smiled and said, “First, I’ll teach you the trick, and then I’ll tell you the secret. The trick is your crown, the one you inherited from your father. At the top of it is a magical diamond. No one can see the diamond unless you bow deeply. Show it to everyone you meet. Bow low so they can truly see it. You will notice they begin to treat you with warm and loving respect.
But be warned: the diamond is magical and will lose its power unless you smile often and treat people kindly.”

The young king was delighted with the trick. From that day forward, he bowed deeply to everyone he met, smiling and showing kindness so that the diamond would not lose its power. The people began treating him with heartfelt respect. They also started to treat each other more respectfully. It was the kind of respect the young king had longed for all along.
He returned to the old man to share the good news. “Thanks to you, I finally receive the respect I’ve been searching for,” he said. “Come live with me in the palace, where it’s warm.” “No, thank you,” the old man replied with a bow. “I belong here, in nature.” Then he continued, “But remember, the diamond is just a trick. It’s not truly magical, and it has no special power. The real trick is that the diamond made you bow. By showing respect, you received respect in return. Your smile and kindness to your people, that’s the real magic.” And then he added, “The secret is simple: to receive respect, you must first give it.”

Food for thought

In life, respect is never a given it’s something you learn and something you earn. We encounter three forms of respect, both within ourselves and in our interactions with others:

• Forced respect
  This comes from rules, structures, and authority. It exists to make sure that power, knowledge, or skill is not misused and that everyone plays by the same rules. You show this respect because you have to it keeps things safe and manageable.
• Taught respect
  This is what you learn at home, in school, or through society: by being polite, treating others properly, practicing self-control and discipline. It teaches you that strength without humility is dangerous.
• Spontaneous respect
  This arises naturally, from within, when you truly admire someone or deeply understand them. You can’t demand it or fake it. You have to earn it — and one wrong move can destroy it in an instant.

What kind of respect do you show? And what kind of respect do you inspire in others?

In life, as on any path, all three are important but the last one makes all the difference.